What a week. My patience has certainly been tried this week. But I have a few things that have helped me get through the long days (and nights!), things I've remembered and repeated over and over as I was studying and being busy. Sometimes for me, I have to remember that I am human, and while I may try as hard as I can, at the end of the day, I am not the one I depend on. God is more faithful than I could hope to be, God will never leave me.
Joshua 1:5 NIV
No one will be able to stand against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you.
I Corinthians 1:9
God is faithful, who has called you into fellowship with his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord.
I Corinthians 10:13
No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.
Showing posts with label prayer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label prayer. Show all posts
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Trials
Well, that may be over dramatic, it may not be. I'm a little sleep-deprived, as the time stamp should indicate here.
"Consider it pure joy my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of any kind,"
James 1:2
I'm reminded of this verse tonight during my observations of so many things. The last two weeks of classes at Jewell are famous for being rough, no one enjoys them. But it's much harder to enjoy them during the fall. Most of us are busy with planning for the Christmas festivalS, the multiple that will take place over the next two weeks. I think most of us would rather just curl up and go to sleep instead, but that's a little hard right now due to the papers, presentations, exams and concerts that must happen.
Consider it pure joy. I'll be working on that attitude.
"Consider it pure joy my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of any kind,"
James 1:2
I'm reminded of this verse tonight during my observations of so many things. The last two weeks of classes at Jewell are famous for being rough, no one enjoys them. But it's much harder to enjoy them during the fall. Most of us are busy with planning for the Christmas festivalS, the multiple that will take place over the next two weeks. I think most of us would rather just curl up and go to sleep instead, but that's a little hard right now due to the papers, presentations, exams and concerts that must happen.
Consider it pure joy. I'll be working on that attitude.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Thanksgiving 2010
Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. Not that my family celebrates a lot of holidays, but it's still my favorite by far. I think I appreciate the spirit of the holiday, the family time together, the way everyone sort of unwinds and is just happy to have the day with each other. We don't do other projects during the holiday, we just try to spend as much time together on that day together, doing things everyone wants to do, working to make each other happy.
This Thanksgiving was especially dear to me because I was away from the family core last year (ie my parents), and I'm fairly certain I will be away again this next year. Last year was a fabulous alternative, since I got to have a different family thanksgiving with my brother's family and my sister. But Thanksgiving is not only MY favorite holiday, it's also my Mom's favorite holiday. And the ability to spend it with her, is a blessing. Next year I hope to be in Maine, and I have no idea if there is enough of a break for me to afford the flight home for the holiday. I will be entirely on my own next year, and though I am sure I will find friends, church family, etc, it will still not be the same without my mother. And the rest of the family too.
It's not that we do anything special. Much of the late morning was spent in Wii bowling tournaments (I mean, that's still rather novel to my family, video gaming systems and all), after that we did a lot of cooking. This was the first time in three years I got to A. help cook, and B. could eat everything. My mother worked hard to make it an entirely gluten-free meal, and that was really meaningful to me, since it was the first time in three years I had had a full Thanksgiving meal. None of the food is anything incredibly gourmet, lots of traditional favorites; turkey, dressing, my mom's potatoes, you get the idea: not a lot of adventurousness. But that is what makes it so special. We don't make a dressing except once a year, and it's an incredible recipe, so we savour it when we have it. I don't mean the food isn't incredibly tasty by saying it's not gourmet or adventurous, I just mean, we're fairly run of the mill on the menu choices.
Much of our afternoon and evening after we ate our early dinner feast was spent again playing Wii (need to work off those calories) and then wonderful board games, wrapped up by movie watching (Clue!). It's not the activities, the games, or the movie choices that make it special though, it's one full day of everyone checking their stress at the kitchen door, enjoying great foods together, working together (we figured out that every single dish in the kitchen was a collaboration of some sort), and just being silly. More threats to spew drinks because of raucous laughter happen on this day than on any other day of the year. Me? I like watching them, I enjoy the sense of love that hangs in the air. Sometimes the idea that stress isn't necessary for a few short days while we play, laugh and enjoy each other even lasts as long as the leftovers. Sometimes it doesn't last as long as the leftovers, but we're a real family, with all the failures and mistakes that go along with it. Maybe that sounds cheesy, but I really don't mean it that way.
This year, above all else, I'm thankful for my family. I'm thankful to be home, to have a home, to have emotional shelter from the rest of the big, bad, ugly world, to know I always have a place, emotional if not physical, to return to. I'm so incredibly blessed I'm ready to tear up right now, and I'm not a crier.
God said he would never leave us alone, and yes, I know that He meant He was sending the Holy Spirit, but I think God works through means, and I see family as one of his incredible means of communicating His love for us.
This Thanksgiving was especially dear to me because I was away from the family core last year (ie my parents), and I'm fairly certain I will be away again this next year. Last year was a fabulous alternative, since I got to have a different family thanksgiving with my brother's family and my sister. But Thanksgiving is not only MY favorite holiday, it's also my Mom's favorite holiday. And the ability to spend it with her, is a blessing. Next year I hope to be in Maine, and I have no idea if there is enough of a break for me to afford the flight home for the holiday. I will be entirely on my own next year, and though I am sure I will find friends, church family, etc, it will still not be the same without my mother. And the rest of the family too.
It's not that we do anything special. Much of the late morning was spent in Wii bowling tournaments (I mean, that's still rather novel to my family, video gaming systems and all), after that we did a lot of cooking. This was the first time in three years I got to A. help cook, and B. could eat everything. My mother worked hard to make it an entirely gluten-free meal, and that was really meaningful to me, since it was the first time in three years I had had a full Thanksgiving meal. None of the food is anything incredibly gourmet, lots of traditional favorites; turkey, dressing, my mom's potatoes, you get the idea: not a lot of adventurousness. But that is what makes it so special. We don't make a dressing except once a year, and it's an incredible recipe, so we savour it when we have it. I don't mean the food isn't incredibly tasty by saying it's not gourmet or adventurous, I just mean, we're fairly run of the mill on the menu choices.
Much of our afternoon and evening after we ate our early dinner feast was spent again playing Wii (need to work off those calories) and then wonderful board games, wrapped up by movie watching (Clue!). It's not the activities, the games, or the movie choices that make it special though, it's one full day of everyone checking their stress at the kitchen door, enjoying great foods together, working together (we figured out that every single dish in the kitchen was a collaboration of some sort), and just being silly. More threats to spew drinks because of raucous laughter happen on this day than on any other day of the year. Me? I like watching them, I enjoy the sense of love that hangs in the air. Sometimes the idea that stress isn't necessary for a few short days while we play, laugh and enjoy each other even lasts as long as the leftovers. Sometimes it doesn't last as long as the leftovers, but we're a real family, with all the failures and mistakes that go along with it. Maybe that sounds cheesy, but I really don't mean it that way.
This year, above all else, I'm thankful for my family. I'm thankful to be home, to have a home, to have emotional shelter from the rest of the big, bad, ugly world, to know I always have a place, emotional if not physical, to return to. I'm so incredibly blessed I'm ready to tear up right now, and I'm not a crier.
God said he would never leave us alone, and yes, I know that He meant He was sending the Holy Spirit, but I think God works through means, and I see family as one of his incredible means of communicating His love for us.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Remembering...
I have a really bad habit of getting caught up in everyday life. Letting the little things get to me. The little frustrations. Okay, in the moment, they're big frustrations. A friend reminded me of this verse the other day:
"Restore to me the joy of your salvation,and uphold me with a willing spirit."Psalm 51:12 ESV
Who am I to forget that the center of my world should rightly be God? His salvation is the only thing that truly matters.
"Jehovah liveth; and blessed be my rock; And exalted be the God of my salvation"
Psalm 18:46, ASV
I've really been struggling though this last two months. The recital, work, homework, class schedule, emotional turmoil, all of it has really been waying me down. And now I have this solo artist competition on Saturday. I have really been losing sight of my true focus in life. And the piano work wasn't going so smoothly. In late September I was given a 19 page Bach concerto to memorize for the competition. Up until last night, I was still unsure whether or not I would have everything ready and secure.
Then last night in the middle of practice, I remembered...
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."
- Phillipians 4:13 NKJV
God is my strength. My strength is not my own.
And right there I prayed. I spent 15 minutes just sitting in my practice room praying quietly.
And the music?
Beautiful. I saw that concerto in a new light last night. Up until last night it was the technically difficult, slightly flashy little piece that fit my personality that was good for the competition.
But last night I saw God in my music. I saw the long way my memorization skills have come in the last two months, how my patience (against my will) has developed, and I experienced a joy that few understand. The joy that comes from a truly beautiful piece of music, and the ability to share it with yourself, and to share yourself through your music with God. I thank God so deeply, for the gift he's given to me, and for giving me a gift that is so easily shared with others. I don't know where my gifts will take me in life, I don't know how much longer my hands will work, but I hope that while they do still work, I remember to thank God for them every day.
No matter the outcome of my competition on Saturday, whether I win the spot with LSO or not, I feel I've won. I've had a great challenge, and have met it, not through my own strength, but by learning to depend more fully on God. It seems it's a lesson God has to teach me over and over again. I can only hope someday it gets through my thick head.
"I will sing of Your mercy
That leads me through valleys of sorrow
To rivers of joy"
-The Valley Song, Jars of Clay
"Restore to me the joy of your salvation,and uphold me with a willing spirit."Psalm 51:12 ESV
Who am I to forget that the center of my world should rightly be God? His salvation is the only thing that truly matters.
"Jehovah liveth; and blessed be my rock; And exalted be the God of my salvation"
Psalm 18:46, ASV
I've really been struggling though this last two months. The recital, work, homework, class schedule, emotional turmoil, all of it has really been waying me down. And now I have this solo artist competition on Saturday. I have really been losing sight of my true focus in life. And the piano work wasn't going so smoothly. In late September I was given a 19 page Bach concerto to memorize for the competition. Up until last night, I was still unsure whether or not I would have everything ready and secure.
Then last night in the middle of practice, I remembered...
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."
- Phillipians 4:13 NKJV
God is my strength. My strength is not my own.
And right there I prayed. I spent 15 minutes just sitting in my practice room praying quietly.
And the music?
Beautiful. I saw that concerto in a new light last night. Up until last night it was the technically difficult, slightly flashy little piece that fit my personality that was good for the competition.
But last night I saw God in my music. I saw the long way my memorization skills have come in the last two months, how my patience (against my will) has developed, and I experienced a joy that few understand. The joy that comes from a truly beautiful piece of music, and the ability to share it with yourself, and to share yourself through your music with God. I thank God so deeply, for the gift he's given to me, and for giving me a gift that is so easily shared with others. I don't know where my gifts will take me in life, I don't know how much longer my hands will work, but I hope that while they do still work, I remember to thank God for them every day.
No matter the outcome of my competition on Saturday, whether I win the spot with LSO or not, I feel I've won. I've had a great challenge, and have met it, not through my own strength, but by learning to depend more fully on God. It seems it's a lesson God has to teach me over and over again. I can only hope someday it gets through my thick head.
"I will sing of Your mercy
That leads me through valleys of sorrow
To rivers of joy"
-The Valley Song, Jars of Clay
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