A True Friend

I assumed my first post after graduation would be dedicated to the feelings of being a graduate, etc. Well, actually, small news flash: it's not that different. But today, my thoughts are somewhere else, and I'd like to ruminate on them.

One of my dearest friends in the world went home to be with God last night. She was in a tremendous amount of pain, and I'm so happy to see her suffering at an end, but I also know that I'm going to miss her like nothing else in this world. I went to see her the other night and while she laid there and struggled to breathe, I struggled to entertain her, my idea being to reminisce with her about all the cool things we had experienced together. What I found was that my hour of babbling about what the two of us had done and where we had been became far more about comforting me, and far less about entertaining her. Jenny was an extremely faithful friend, and highly influential in my life, she opened my eyes to certain things, and taught me a love for other things. So here are a few of the things she influenced the most in my life.

•  Jenny loved to be active. She didn't know how to sit still, literally. She would tap her foot or jiggle her leg because she just couldn't handle sitting still, she had too much energy coursing through her at all times. I know both of my parents are overachievers and I take after them, but some of that surging energy I learned from Jenny. 
• She loved art, almost all forms. She and I used to field trip almost monthly to the Nelson-Atkins museum here in KC all through my teen years. We would wander to our favorite rooms, and try to fit in at least one new room each time. We especially loved the English painting from the 17th/18th centuries and the Chinese art rooms, including the temple that came from a hillside in northern China. She did hate all forms of modern art with a passion though.
• That woman could drink eight pots of coffee in a row. She made me look mild on my caffeine addiction, right up to this last year, she could still tolerate more coffee in a day than I can in a week. It was rather impressive in an odd way.
• A great tradition she and I had was to go explore something (Nelson Atkins, Independence Square, etc) and then go eat lunch. We favored the Red Dragon but we also tried several fun sandwich shops and loved getting ice cream in the summer. Our other favorite treat was to get chocolate cherry cokes (say that three times fast) at Sonic during the summer and then to go to a park. 
• Jenny grew up in Liberty, and was a fascinating source of information for all things historical in Clay County and KC in general. Her family was here for more than one or two generations and she had memorized a large portion of interesting material, not the boring dry information you read on plaques, but she would tell engrossing stories about her high school years, and about spending her childhood with her uncle, an artist who knew and worked with Thomas Hart Benton. 
• One thing I have definitely picked up as a learned habit is a dislike for phone conversations. All conversations for the phone should come with outlines to keep them short. I'm not sure we ever spent more than 30-60 seconds on the phone with each other, and those went something like this:
• Jenny: "Let's go to the museum on Friday"
• Karen: "Okay, I'm free until 2:00, so maybe we should grab lunch afterwards?"
• Jenny: "Great, pick you up at 8:30"
• *click*
• Jenny could kick anyone's rear end, thoroughly, completely, entirely. She, my brother, and myself studied T'ai Chi together for a couple of summers when I was still fairly young. My brother, being his normal self liked to smart off a lot about how he was sure he could take her. He generally ended up flat on his back a little stunned after uttering these things. That was especially hilarious for me, because that never happened to Matt in my experience.

• Jenny loved her church, and God dearly. We prayed over every meal we ate together and talked about books and music and Christianity and the church all the time. She also taught me that it's okay to question, it's okay to be unsure, and it's okay to not know 100% what you believe, and most importantly that it's okay to wait on God to give you answers in His time. 

It's all downhill from here ...

So now here we are, finished with classes as an undergraduate. Ready for the last flurry of rehearsals, recitals, and exams. I've finished 3/6 of my senior projects, two of those being biger than the rest of them put together.
I've carried off a 35 minute piano recital, and a 45 minute composition recital, things people told me I could never do. I thought I would feel accomplished when I finished, but all I really feel is drained.

What's next? I'm not really sure. I'm hoping to find a job (aren't we all?) and to do some great volunteer work, as well as train to run three 5K's before Christmas this year. I hope to be more involved with my church, spend quality time with my family, and to not lose contact with great friends.

This point of life sort of feels like a precipice, I'm standing on it, and graduation is the pushing off part.

Everyone's so ready to memorialize "my last day of classes", "my last rehearsal", "my last performance". I'm not so ready because as burned out as I feel, I'm not so ready to get rid of the last four years of memories.

Stay tuned, job hunt coming soon.

Rants of a Composition Major

Well, this is similar to a previous post, I've been having problems with recital preparation again. A few of the ridiculous things I've heard in the last week:

• "One musician to another", I'm going to start asking for credentials before I listen to anything beyond this sentence...
• "I just assumed I didn't need to show up to rehearsal" ... I mean, really? Are you THAT good?
• "Do we need to rehearse?" Well yes, I would like us to not look ridiculous in eight days time. 
• "Should I stay for the rest of the recital?" , No, no, please leave, that would be great. *sarcasm*

Yes, it's a colorful week in my world, hopefully musicians won't keep me from finishing my degree.

PS - I love you all, you just frustrate me sometimes.

Why Pop Sociology/Feminism is wrong about Beauty and the Beast

I love to read Sociology and Feminist blogs. They challenge me to think in ways I haven't before, they make me quite thoughtful, and on some days, they help round out my liberal arts educated point of view on a subject. No, I don't always agree with what they have to say, but I do at least take the view into consideration.

I also love to read blogs about trying to take our younger girls' minds back from Disney. Stealing back the younger generation as it were. While Disney has fun songs, it can be a little obsessive, especially as the Disney corporation has chosen to market certain gender socializing toys, books, and games, that can socialize girls to be passive instead of active.

But... I have a problem. A serious problem for my little psyche. Most of these blogs villainize Beauty and the Beast, one of my two favorite movies, and my absolute favorite Broadway show ever. Most of these blogs have at least one post about how the only thing girls will ever garner from this show is that abusive spouses should be put up with and will change over time. Obviously, this is a dangerous idea, if this is indeed what girls could garner from Beauty and the Beast. But this idea has been turning in my mind and bothering me for some time now.

I've always seen Beauty and the Beast as a story of redemption. He has problems, she has problems, people are flawed in general, I've never met a Cinderella personally. Belle is so real, she loses her temper, she's feisty, she's in your face. I don't think I ever came away with the idea that I should stay with an abusive partner, but that I should challenge the status quo.

It's not like Belle loves him unconditionally or blames herself for the Beast's bad temper. Nope, she's happy to stick it to him, to fight with him, to get angry back, to fight back for herself. And yes, the Beast is redeemed through the course of the show, but from my Christian perspective, that's the changing power of love. He could have left Belle to the wolves, but instead rescued her. He was changing long before she decided to stay with him. Maybe it's the proof of that change that made her stay?

In the end, it's not HER love that changes him, it's the MUTUAL love that changes BOTH of them. Because we are all flawed, and we all need redemption. Those are the lessons I've always taken away from this show. I hope I challenged you to see this show in a different way. Because the ruminating has been good for me.

Berlin, bike rides, and crazy hostels

Looking at the TV tower, near my hostel

As my previous post stated, a visit to the concentration camp Sachsenhausen was what I chose to do with my first day in Berlin.

 I really only had two days anyway, so I chose to do something astounding that would enable me to see everything, or at least close to everything:

 I went on a bike tour.

I chose Fat Tire Bike Tours since my brother worked for the walking portion of that company in Paris. The tour didn't start until 10ish, and I really didn't want to hang around my hostel, as cool as it had been (it was hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy themed!) so I set out a little early and walked around East Berlin by myself for awhile.

\

The tour took us by all of the expected sites,

Especially moving for me was the Berlin wall. To think of an entire society that kept it's people locked up behind a large stone wall, merely because they were afraid of another society, is astounding, and I have trouble understanding why people doubt that sort of abuse of power today. Don't even get me started on people who don't believe the Holocaust happened. 

The bleakness of certain portions of the wall really got to me. But then it would be juxtaposed with something like this:

But then it would be followed by something like this. So it was a definite high highs, low lows tour.

I really enjoyed the tour. I wish I could tell you more about it, in detail, and be witty, but I really can't. Oh well.

 Very Soviet apparently. No clue what that really means.

 The scaffolding sort of ruins it, doesn't it?

PS - isn't this a cool photo? 

1 in 133

Just found out about the 1 in 133 campaign, and I'm super excited about it. A challenge to change the FDA food labeling laws, specifically to demand gluten-free labeling!

Click here to help!

Why I Rotaract

A group of us were talking about community service recently. I laughed that community service was the reason I love Rotaract so much. Someone else in the conversation argued that I seemed to love Rotaract for Rotaract's sake. Ok, that may be true, but here in a few neatly summarized points, is why I love Rotaract, community service, and all things Rotary. And not just because of my Dad either... promise.

During a recent Rotaract presentation, we talked about Why We Serve. The reasons listed, altruistic, faith-based, humanist-based, or just a basic guilt for having a good life, were dependable and expected. Nothing wrong with expected, hey, I'm sure mine's expected to.

I serve because I think humans share a bond, we're all part of the creation, and I think we need to not be afraid to help other parts of the creation. This means finding a way to make sustainable change in a manner that is friendly to the local culture. Long-lasting effects are what I'm interested in, not a short term good feeling.

So I Rotaract because I believe the change that Rotary/Rotaract/Interact are trying to bring about is long lasting change, e.g. the End Polio Now campaign. Not only has polio been eradicated from most of the world, but they're still fighting to get it out of places where politics or the population density holds up progress. These things impress me, that tenacity is something I'm interested in, and I believe Rotary (and the other groups through them) are interested in tenacity, making a real difference and not giving up until they do.